Fashion Failure

If you wish to be well-dressed, make certain that you know the names of clothing features, and are familiar with basic human anatomy. Here is a woman (“celebrity stylist”) whose recommendations for winter style include a ridiculous pair of pants or trousers that barely cover the pubic region, which she mysteriously labels “the waist area“.  And imagine the Plumber’s Crack that must be visible at the back. No wonder so-called celebrities look so hideous!

QUOTE from the woman who is promoting
this tragic garment:
“These are the best fitting corduroys I’ve come across. They’re extra long—which I love because I’m tall—and fit perfectly in the waist area. The vintage shadow color, which is a beautiful gray, is a great alternative to traditional denim, and the corduroy texture is so exactly right for this time of year.”
The waist is located an inch above one’s navel. These trousers don’t even come close.
©M-J de Mesterton 2012

Click Here to Read M-J’s Main Website, Elegant Survival

Advertisements

Another Disfiguring Style: Cap-Sleeves

Cap-sleeves make everyone’s upper-arms look chunky. They do not emphasize musculature; rather, cap-sleeves make one’s muscles look like unappealing lumps. Attractive sleeve-lengths are 3/4 and to the wrist. Short sleeves are not elegant–when was the last time you saw someone look chic in a bowling shirt? If you must expose your arms, sleeveless styles are more elegant than cap-sleeves and short sleeves.
©M-J de Mesterton 2010

>Another Disfiguring Style: Cap-Sleeves

>Cap-sleeves make everyone’s upper-arms look chunky. They do not emphasize musculature; rather, cap-sleeves make one’s muscles look like unappealing lumps. Attractive sleeve-lengths are 3/4 and to the wrist. Short sleeves are not elegant–when was the last time you saw someone look chic in a bowling shirt? If you must expose your arms, sleeveless styles are more elegant than cap-sleeves and short sleeves.
©M-J de Mesterton 2010

Another Disfiguring Style: Cap-Sleeves

Cap-sleeves make everyone’s upper-arms look chunky. They do not emphasize musculature; rather, cap-sleeves make one’s muscles look like unappealing lumps. Attractive sleeve-lengths are 3/4 and to the wrist. Short sleeves are not elegant–when was the last time you saw someone look chic in a bowling shirt? If you must expose your arms, sleeveless styles are more elegant than cap-sleeves and short sleeves.
©M-J de Mesterton 2010

Another Disfiguring Style: Cap-Sleeves

Cap-sleeves make everyone’s upper-arms look chunky. They do not emphasize musculature; rather, cap-sleeves make one’s muscles look like unappealing lumps. Attractive sleeve-lengths are 3/4 and to the wrist. Short sleeves are not elegant–when was the last time you saw someone look chic in a bowling shirt? If you must expose your arms, sleeveless styles are more elegant than cap-sleeves and short sleeves.
©M-J de Mesterton 2010

Another Disfiguring Style: Cap-Sleeves

Cap-sleeves make everyone’s upper-arms look chunky. They do not emphasize musculature; rather, cap-sleeves make one’s muscles look like unappealing lumps. Attractive sleeve-lengths are 3/4 and to the wrist. Short sleeves are not elegant–when was the last time you saw someone look chic in a bowling shirt? If you must expose your arms, sleeveless styles are more elegant than cap-sleeves and short sleeves.
©M-J de Mesterton 2010

Low-Rise Clothes: Time for an Uprising

Choosing Clothes that Flatter the Human Corpus

So, you are possessed of a perfectly shaped body and decide to go shopping. There is nothing available but low-rise pants and skirts that rest on the hip. The fashion industry and its manufacturers are saving big bucks on your back. You decide that to go against what seem to be the demands of current fashion is pointless, so you buy whatever looks prettiest on the hanger. Once it goes onto your well-toned corpus, something sinister happens: your legs now look a mere foot long, and your tight “abs” sit above the low-rise top of your skirt or slacks, looking for all the world like a beer-gut. What’s happening here? The fashion industry is sabotaging your looks while saving themselves money on yardage. It’s now impossible to find a pair of pants, tights, or a skirt that comes up to the natural waist; anything that does is derisively and incorrectly labeled “high-waisted”.

Photo: Trousers with a Proper Waist, Available to the Elegant Man at www.tweed-jacket.com

If you must have your clothes made for you in order to avoid this sick, disfiguring fashion regime, there are ways to do it without breaking the bank. A well-constructed pair of corduroy, moleskin or tweed trousers will get you through the depression in style, last for many years, and what’s most appealing about them is that they will make you look taller than everyone else (unfortunate fashion-victims that they are). Even a well-shaped jacket can be sabotaged by slacks, skirts, or trousers that hang below it. Last night’s Academy Awards brought out a cavalcade of men whose crotches landed below the bottom edge of their jackets–poor misguided fellows, yet rich enough to get it right. Overly long slacks creating a puddle of fabric on top of men’s shoes do not lengthen their legs visually–they just look wretchedly tailored.

A tasteful and reliable source for elegant, durable tweed jackets and trousers is Bookster U.K. They will guide you through the ordering process, and see to it that your clothes have an actual waist, so that your investment isn’t a waste. The clothes are made by Bookster in England. There are plenty of British and American companies that copy the traditional English styles, but have them made inexpensively in China. Yet, these clothes are crafted the old-fashioned way, close to where the fabrics are milled in the United Kingdom. It may take a couple of months to have a great pair of trousers or elegant jackets made, but you just might be wearing them for a lifetime. Bookster U.K. is a small operation with a huge reputation for customer service and fine clothing. They specialize in equestrian and tweed clothes, which are perfect for town and country.

Don’t let hip-hop fashion and cheap clothing manufacturers dictate your style. It is time for an uprising against the tyranny of low-rise clothing.


~~Copyright M-J de Mesterton; February 23rd, 2009

This Is NOT a Safari Dress!

Photo by Keith King

The photograph is very nice. The description, however, as a “classic safari dress”, is absurd. From the article entitled, “11 New Classic Spring Wardrobe Additions” in Real Simple, (March 2008)
It might be a nice night-shirt, but it is certainly not a classic anything, much less a safari dress.

No one in his/her right mind would go “on safari” in something so skimpy, short, and without a collar or sleeves! Unless he/she wanted to be devoured by mosquitoes. And why bother with Wellingtons in this case? Why not go all the way and wear Crocs? Oh, by the way: Crocs will give you a rash, as will any plastic shoe. And never wear Hunter Wellingtons without socks! By the way, Hunter is the brand of Wellingtons made in Scotland. Beware of situations in which your Wellingtons could be punctured. I’ve had my latest pair for fifteen years. They are great for working in the garden and for mucking-out stables.

The idea on safari, as I wrote last summer, is to keep one’s skin covered from the elements.

Now, THIS IS a safari dress:

When I manage to locate one like this, I’ll let you know!

Advice for summer: wearing fewer clothes–exposing more skin–will not necessarily keep you cooler. You ought to dress to prevent the elements from getting to your skin. Loosely woven fabrics such as linen, and breathable ones like silk, can keep you cool and protect you from sun and insects. You’ll never see anyone (except maybe the odd American tourist) walking out in the desert nearly naked.
Copyright M-J de Mesterton 2007

This lame design has one nod to practicality, and that’s some sort of marsupial pockets (the designers are from Australia, I think). Again not classic! Following the “next” button on the photo show linked up above, I found yet another non-“classic” outrage–something that simply cannot be worn to work, contrary to what the copy below it claims….

There is, before the faux safari dress, as wardrobe additon number 8: a long, white skirt with a normal waist–which, after the distortions of the low-waist is erroneously labeled “higher than the natural waist” . It’s a nice item by Club Monaco, but the photo in the magazine on close inspection shows the waist slightly lower than described, with a belt. I’ve just looked at Club Monaco’s website. Almost everything there has a low waist, so in their distorted world, a regular waist would seem high. I notice the old “paper bag” look there, with its belt below the fabric’s waistline, a gimmick straight out of the late eighties. And then, the sleeveless trench-dress, for which anyone who needs a brassiere must wear a strapless affair.

Clothes have been distorting the female figure ever since the return of the low waist and capri pants. And men tell me they can’t stand bony anorexic women–a monster that fashion has created. No wonder there is such a market for male drugs. You know, the sort of vile garbage that unscrupulous vendors advertise by spamming your mailbox.

P.S.–here is a really practical safari dress from Cabela’s, at a very low price. It comes closer to the “classic”, though I would rather it had a normal waist and a fuller, longer skirt. UPDATE: the Cabela’s Safari Dress needs its belt-loops raised two inches, so that the idiotic low-waist, which is so unflattering and purposeless on their otherwise perfect dress, is corrected. What a shame that the designers are still following a style that makes fashion victims out of women and disfigures them. So, if you order this dress, you can remove and raise the belt-loops, or wear it without a belt–but who wants empty, wide belt loops at the hip?
UPDATE on Cabela’s Safari Dress: I had my belt loops raised an inch and a half, after being measured by the tailor. The safari dress now hangs properly. The process cost $15.00.

What shoes would one wear with a real safari dress or skirt/shirt ensemble? Considering what I’ve said up above about the nature of safari dressing, stout shoes with knee-socks would be ideal. There are some very attractive shoes and low boots made for the purpose. After all, no woman who is actually in the outback, the savannah or in the woods ought to be teetering about in the latest spike-heeled, peep-toe pumps, unless she wants to serve as some famished lionesse’s hors d’ouevre.

Update: J. Peterman Co. has an elegant, long safari dress. Beware, though, as it is cut small. Their size 16 is equivalent to a size 12.

“When Words Have No Meaning”
That’s the title of the email my husband sent me from his computer in the other room.

Here’s what he said:

“This actress is being lauded for wearing ‘high-waisted’ trousers: this is what now passes for a proper waist, and while I concede that it is better than the blubber-inducing-hip-hugger-from-hell craze, these trousers are at best riding on what used to be considered the hips. And you have railed against the low-waist epidemic for years!”

http://omg.yahoo.com/hilary-gets-high-waisted/photos/1917?nc#id=1

M-J’s reply: “They really ought to stay off the hallucinogenic drugs over at OMG.”

This Is NOT a Safari Dress!

Photo by Keith King

The photograph is very nice. The description, however, as a “classic safari dress”, is absurd. From the article entitled, “11 New Classic Spring Wardrobe Additions” in Real Simple, March 2008. It might be a nice night-shirt, but it is certainly not a classic anything, much less a safari dress.

No one in his/her right mind would go “on safari” in something so skimpy, short, and without a collar or sleeves! Unless he/she wanted to be devoured by mosquitoes. And why bother with Wellingtons in this case? Why not go all the way and wear Crocs? Oh, by the way: Crocs will give you a rash, as will any plastic shoe. And never wear Hunter Wellingtons without socks! By the way, Hunter is the brand of Wellingtons made in Scotland. Beware of situations in which your Wellingtons could be punctured. I’ve had my latest pair for fifteen years. They are great for working in the garden and for mucking-out stables.

The idea on safari, as I wrote last summer, is to keep one’s skin covered from the elements.

Now, THIS IS a safari dress:

When I manage to locate one like this, I’ll let you know!

Advice for summer: wearing fewer clothes–exposing more skin–will not necessarily keep you cooler. You ought to dress to prevent the elements from getting to your skin. Loosely woven fabrics such as linen, cotton, and breathable ones like silk, can keep you cool and protect you from sun and insects. You’ll never see anyone (except maybe the odd American tourist) walking out in the desert nearly naked.
Copyright M-Jeanne de Mesterton, 2007

This lame design has one nod to practicality, and that’s some sort of marsupial pocket (the designers are from Australia, I think). Again not classic! Following the “next” button on the photo show linked up above, I found yet another non-“classic” outrage–something that simply cannot be worn to work, contrary to what the copy below it claims….

There is, before the faux safari dress, as wardrobe additon number 8: a long, white skirt with a normal waist–which, after the distortions of the low-waist is erroneously labeled “higher than the natural waist” . It’s a nice item by Club Monaco, but the photo in the magazine on close inspection shows the waist slightly lower than described, with a belt. I’ve just looked at Club Monaco’s website. Almost everything there has a low waist, so in their distorted world, a regular waist would seem high. I notice the old “paper bag” look there, with its belt below the fabric’s waistline, a gimmick straight out of the late eighties. And then, the sleeveless trench-dress, for which anyone who needs a brassiere must wear a strapless affair.

Clothes have been distorting the female figure ever since the return of the low waist and capri pants. And men tell me they can’t stand bony anorexic women–a monster that fashion has created. No wonder there is such a market for male drugs. You know, the sort of vile garbage that unscrupulous vendors advertise by spamming your mailbox.

P.S.–here is a really practical safari dress from Cabela’s, at a very low price. It comes closer to the “classic”, though I would rather it had a normal waist and a fuller, longer skirt. UPDATE: the Cabela’s Safari Dress needs its belt-loops raised two inches, so that the idiotic low-waist, which is so unflattering and purposeless on their otherwise perfect dress, is corrected. What a shame that the designers are still following a style that makes fashion victims out of women and disfigures them. So, if you order this dress, you can remove and raise the belt-loops, or wear it without a belt–but who wants empty, wide belt loops at the hip?
UPDATE on Cabela’s Safari Dress: I had my belt loops raised an inch and a half, after being measured by the tailor. The safari dress now hangs properly. The process cost $15.00.

What shoes would one wear with a real safari dress or skirt/shirt ensemble? Considering what I’ve said up above about the nature of safari dressing, stout shoes with knee-socks would be ideal. There are some very attractive shoes and low boots made for the purpose. After all, no woman who is actually in the outback, the savannah or in the woods ought to be teetering about in the latest spike-heeled, peep-toe pumps, unless she wants to serve as some famished lionesse’s hors d’ouevre.

Update: J. Peterman Co. has an elegant, long safari dress. Beware, though, as it is cut small. Their size 16 is equivalent to a size 12.

“When Words Have No Meaning”
That’s the title of the email my husband sent me from his computer in the other room.

Here’s what he said:

“This actress is being lauded for wearing ‘high-waisted’ trousers: this is what now passes for a proper waist, and while I concede that it is better than the blubber-inducing-hip-hugger-from-hell craze, these trousers are at best riding on what used to be considered the hips. And you have railed against the low-waist epidemic for years!”

http://omg.yahoo.com/hilary-gets-high-waisted/photos/1917?nc#id=1

M-J’s reply: “They really ought to stay off the hallucinogenic drugs over at OMG.”

This Is NOT a Safari Dress!

Photo by Keith King

The photograph is very nice. The description, however, as a “classic safari dress”, is absurd. From the article entitled, “11 New Classic Spring Wardrobe Additions” in Real Simple, (March 2008)
It might be a nice night-shirt, but it is certainly not a classic anything, much less a safari dress.

No one in his/her right mind would go “on safari” in something so skimpy, short, and without a collar or sleeves! Unless he/she wanted to be devoured by mosquitoes. And why bother with Wellingtons in this case? Why not go all the way and wear Crocs? Oh, by the way: Crocs will give you a rash, as will any plastic shoe. And never wear Hunter Wellingtons without socks! By the way, Hunter is the brand of Wellingtons made in Scotland. Beware of situations in which your Wellingtons could be punctured. I’ve had my latest pair for fifteen years. They are great for working in the garden and for mucking-out stables.

The idea on safari, as I wrote last summer, is to keep one’s skin covered from the elements.

Now, THIS IS a safari dress:

When I manage to locate one like this, I’ll let you know!

Advice for summer: wearing fewer clothes–exposing more skin–will not necessarily keep you cooler. You ought to dress to prevent the elements from getting to your skin. Loosely woven fabrics such as linen, and breathable ones like silk, can keep you cool and protect you from sun and insects. You’ll never see anyone (except maybe the odd American tourist) walking out in the desert nearly naked.
Copyright Countess Jeanne 2007

This lame design has one nod to practicality, and that’s some sort of marsupial pockets (the designers are from Australia, I think). Again not classic! Following the “next” button on the photo show linked up above, I found yet another non-“classic” outrage–something that simply cannot be worn to work, contrary to what the copy below it claims….

There is, before the faux safari dress, as wardrobe additon number 8: a long, white skirt with a normal waist–which, after the distortions of the low-waist is erroneously labeled “higher than the natural waist” . It’s a nice item by Club Monaco, but the photo in the magazine on close inspection shows the waist slightly lower than described, with a belt. I’ve just looked at Club Monaco’s website. Almost everything there has a low waist, so in their distorted world, a regular waist would seem high. I notice the old “paper bag” look there, with its belt below the fabric’s waistline, a gimmick straight out of the late eighties. And then, the sleeveless trench-dress, for which anyone who needs a brassiere must wear a strapless affair.

Clothes have been distorting the female figure ever since the return of the low waist and capri pants. And men tell me they can’t stand bony anorexic women–a monster that fashion has created. No wonder there is such a market for male drugs. You know, the sort of vile garbage that unscrupulous vendors advertise by spamming your mailbox.

P.S.–here is a really practical safari dress from Cabela’s, at a very low price. It comes closer to the “classic”, though I would rather it had a normal waist and a fuller, longer skirt. UPDATE: the Cabela’s Safari Dress needs its belt-loops raised two inches, so that the idiotic low-waist, which is so unflattering and purposeless on their otherwise perfect dress, is corrected. What a shame that the designers are still following a style that makes fashion victims out of women and disfigures them. So, if you order this dress, you can remove and raise the belt-loops, or wear it without a belt–but who wants empty, wide belt loops at the hip?
UPDATE on Cabela’s Safari Dress: I had my belt loops raised an inch and a half, after being measured by the tailor. The safari dress now hangs properly. The process cost $15.00.

What shoes would one wear with a real safari dress or skirt/shirt ensemble? Considering what I’ve said up above about the nature of safari dressing, stout shoes with knee-socks would be ideal. There are some very attractive shoes and low boots made for the purpose. After all, no woman who is actually in the outback, the savannah or in the woods ought to be teetering about in the latest spike-heeled, peep-toe pumps, unless she wants to serve as some famished lionesse’s hors d’ouevre.

Update: J. Peterman Co. has an elegant, long safari dress. Beware, though, as it is cut small. Their size 16 is equivalent to a size 12.

“When Words Have No Meaning”
That’s the title of the email my husband sent me from his computer in the other room.

Here’s what he said:

“This actress is being lauded for wearing ‘high-waisted’ trousers: this is what now passes for a proper waist, and while I concede that it is better than the blubber-inducing-hip-hugger-from-hell craze, these trousers are at best riding on what used to be considered the hips. And you have railed against the low-waist epidemic for years!”

http://omg.yahoo.com/hilary-gets-high-waisted/photos/1917?nc#id=1

M-J’s reply: “They really ought to stay off the hallucinogenic drugs over at OMG.”

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑