Outsized Fruits & Vegetables; Chicken on Steroids?

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2016: I hadn’t gone shopping in a while, so when I came upon these grapes and jalapeño peppers at Albertson’s a month ago, they seemed normal at first. At home, they looked larger than life all of a sudden, like the Grapes that Took Over the World, and Jalapeños as Big as Texas. They may be genetically-modified (in fact, I’d put money on it). Yeah, them grapes were slightly smaller than golf-balls, and twenty years ago women would have been runnin’ scared at the sight of ’em. Those peppers ain’t just big, they are hotter than Hades. Talk about getting more bang for your buck–for all I know, the whole lot is deadly poison. Sure as shootin’, I am not going back to that store for more. The chicken breasts we bought there were just enormous, probably from a fowl critter named Dolly (in honor of the lamb created in a lab, not the huge-breasted singer, Ms Parton).

After poaching and frying those pieces of chicken, having spent more than an hour in the process, we were stunned at the foam-rubber texture of the alien meat. The animals had to have been pumped full of SOMETHING unnatural to make their breasts as large as those of turkeys and render their flesh absolutely inedible. My husband, who had innocently ordered the stuff at Albertson’s butcher counter, brought all the chicken back for a full refund. Don’t let grocery stores ruin your meals–make sure the chicken you purchase is of normal size. Good thing we did not unwittingly serve this faux fowl to guests. That would have been ruinous!~~M-J

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And now, the eternal question: which came first, the funky chicken enhanced by hormones, or the FREAK EGG?

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Food Safety Website

It’s a government website, so take everything you read here on food-hazards with a grain of salt. Remember who is running the show: an entity that has so far proved its abysmal ineptitude, and a propensity to take campaign money among other bribes from big insurance, big food, big oil and big pharmaceuticals. There is, however, some common-sense advice on the page.

Elegant Bamboo Cooking Tools

Available at Wal-Mart for about three dollars, these ultra-useful, sturdy cook’s implements are made from bamboo.  Each white mesh bag contains five bamboo spatulas and spoons. At that price, it may be wise to purchase two packs of them.

Live the Elegant “Pouch” Lifestyle…

…with beautiful pouches in various materials. Organize and protect your silver, jewels, brushes and watches; make sachets; present little party-favours in pretty little fabric bags. Go “green” with canvas or burlap pouches, or go for the glitz and glamour of organza. Use fabric pouches to store your lingerie for travel.

Elegant Canvas Pouches by PouchMart of CaliforniaThere are so many potential uses for pouches that I shall just give you the link to PouchMart in California, and you can dream up your own uses for them. The prices are fantastic for all the elegant drawstring pouches they offer, both plain and fancy. Buy them in multiples of ten or twelve, for about a dollar or less apiece. Have fun putting your stuff in pouches!

©M-J de Mesterton 2010

M-J’s Elegant Eggs Vienna: 3 Sources of Protein and Choline

M-J's Eggs Vienna First Recipe for Eggs Vienna on the Internet, by M-J de Mesterton 2006

M-J’s Original Eggs Vienna

 

M-J de Mesterton’s Eggs Vienna Recipe

This Dish Features Three Sources of Choline

An old friend of mine used to make this dish for me in the 1970s. I had published my recipe for the unusual breakfast offering on Elegant Survival in 2006; it was for a long time the only recipe for Eggs Vienna on the internet. I shall reconstruct it here at Elegant Cuisine:

Eggs Vienna for Two

Prepare four slices of streaky American-style bacon until they are crisp. Poach two eggs in two cups of boiling milk, until they are soft. Toast two slices of white bread or English muffins, then butter them. When all three components are ready, place one piece of  toast in each of  two soup-bowls. Place two slices of  bacon on top of each piece of toast, then top that with a poached egg. Pour the remaining hot milk, in which the eggs have been poached, into each bowl. ©M-J de Mesterton 2006

Eggs, Bacon and Milk are Good Sources of Choline, which, when Ingested by Pregnant Women,  Contributes to the Intelligence of Babies, and for Everyone Else, It Helps to Prevent Heart Disease

 

M-J’s Winter Health Smoothie

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One half-cup of water, one fourth-cup of lemon juice, one jalapeño or serrano pepper (roasted, pickled or fresh), two stalks of celery, one-half of a cucumber, one tablespoon of thick yoghurt or one half-cup of buttermilk, one teaspoon of apple cider vinegar and one tablespoon of parsley, all whirled in a blender till smooth. Add water if necessary for processing.
 
big grinCopyright M-J de Mesterton 2009

Elegant Party “Champagne”: Cristalino Brut from Spain


Cristalino Brut from Spain: Inexpensive Substitute for French Champagne

Available at Cost Plus World Market

Inexpensive Substitute for French Champagne

“Bright green-gold color and aromas of apple, spices, flowers and nuts. Crisp, bright and dry with medium-full body. Intense ginger and apple flavors with nutty and floral nuances. Clean, lemony finish that is quite dry. A pleasure with chicken salad, scampi, filet of sole, brie and fruit desserts. Serve as an aperitif, too.”

Make Your Own Elegant Hamburger Buns

M-J's Home-Made Hamburger Buns, Copyright Elegant Survival 2009
M-J's Home-Made Hamburger Buns, Copyright Elegant Survival 2009

Elegant Hamburger Buns


Ingredients:
• 2 tablespoons of active dry yeast
• 1 and 1/4 cup of warm water (110° to 115°)—hotter water will kill the yeast
• 1/3 cup of vegetable oil (do not use canola oil, which tastes fishy in baked goods; peanut, corn or pure vegetable oils are preferred)
• 1/4 cup of sugar, any variety
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 3 and 1/2 cups of unbleached or all-purpose white flour

Directions:

In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in the warm water. Add oil and sugar; let stand for 5 minutes. Then, add the egg, salt, and flour.
Turn onto a floured surface; knead for about four minutes, until smooth and elastic, adding flour as needed. Form the dough into a ball, cover, and let it rise for ten minutes. Divide the dough into 12 flat, round pieces. Place 3 inches apart on buttered baking sheets.
Cover and let rise for 30 minutes. Bake on top oven rack at 400° for 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Monitor closely to prevent burning. Remove from pans to wire racks to cool. This recipe makes twelve hamburger buns. For dinner rolls, do not flatten but shape your twelve dough pieces into balls.

~~Copyright M-J de Mesterton, Elegant Survival 2008


Elegant Survival Food Safety, and Recycling Cake-Covers

Cake and Croissant Container Top from Sam's Club, Recycled as a Food-Safety Tool; This One is Four Years Old!
Cake and Croissant Container Top Made of Thin Plastic, Recycled as a Food-Safety Tool; This One is Four Years Old! Keep flies off your food, in the house or outdoors. These lightweight tops are stackable, washable by hand (not dishwasher-safe), and will protect your family and friends from the awful germs carried by flies and other pests.~~Copyright M-J de Mesterton, May 16th, 2009
M-J's Four-Year-Old Cake Cover, Recycled from Croissant Container (Painting and Photo by M-J de Mesterton)
M-J's Four-Year-Old Cake Cover, Recycled from Croissant Container (Painting and Photo by M-J de Mesterton, Copyright)