“Being Well-Dressed…

…is like being in love.”

“Simplicity is perfection.”

“Clothing is an envelope for the body.”

“The American Cowboy is the best dressed man.”

Count Oleg Cassini, Clothing Designer

Count Oleg Cassini, Fashion Designer and Inventor of Evolutionary Fur
Count Oleg Cassini, 1952
(Photo Courtesy of Encyclopedia Brittanica)

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Timely Quotes and Quips

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is
like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
– Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the
support of Paul.
– George Bernard Shaw

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which
debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
– G. Gordon Liddy

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on
what to have for dinner.
– James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in
rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
– Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car
keys to teenage boys.
– P.J. O’Rourke, Author and Civil Libertarian.

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to
live at the expense of everybody else.
– Frederic Bastiat, French Economist(1801-1850)

Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short
phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it
stops moving, subsidize it.
– Ronald Reagan (1986)

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
– Will Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it
costs when it’s free!
– P.J. O’Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as
possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
– Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean
politics won’t take an interest in you!
– Pericles (430 B.C.)

No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is
in session.
– Mark Twain (1866)

Amusing Paraprosdokians

Amusing Quotes, Tragically True
True and Tragic Ticklers
PARAPROSDOKIANS  (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which  the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

1.  Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

2.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my  list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some  people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left..

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations.  Trains stop in train stations.  On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12.  In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case  of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’

13. I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

14.  Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind  the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16.  A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get  away.

20. I used to be indecisive.  Now I’m not so sure.

21. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

22.  To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

24.  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25.  Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than  standing in a garage makes you a car.

26.  Where there’s a will, there are relatives.