Montage of Misshapen Muffin-Topped Maidens

Why go around short-legged, double-gutted, and half-assed when you could simply wear your trousers or pants at the waist, solving  all three self-imposed problems at once?  Ridiculously high heels don’t help.
Since 2006, I have been writing about the sort of misguided clothing-choices pictured in this photo-montage. Garments that only rise to that area just above the groin cause both the grotesque “Muffin-Top” and the risible anomaly known as “Plumber’s Crack”, yet every year, THEY’RE BA-ACK!  Resist sinking into fashion-victimhood, and stop risking your pants falling down. Wear your pants, trousers and skirts up at the waist,
and you will not look this idiotic. SIMPLE, isn’t  it?
©M-J de Mesterton 2013
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It’s Not the Bagginess that Offends, Butt…

…I mean but the low-hanging thereof. My photo shows elegant baggy or wide-legged trousers. Baggy pants, as in Oxford Bags, have been chic for decades in classic clothing. But, most people, when referring to the problem of low-sagging pants (trousers) just use the term, “baggy pants”. That’s really unfair, since what is being excoriated is the plumber’s crack, a source of derision for all times. What people abhor is the hideous sagging lowdown pants/trousers style. It really amounts to indecent exposure–someone’s underwear and opening showing in front, and whatever you wish to call it bared in the back–that’s the issue. Here is an article which I was sent by Sweden’s The Local–News in English:
 

M-J de Mesterton©2007
Note: I originally posted this, together with my original poem on the subject, in 2007:

15 novembre, 2007

Saggin’ and Caggin’*

There’s a distinction between “baggy pants” and trousers that are sagging under the underwear. Since when has it been all right to walk round in one’s jockey shorts? That’s where the hip-hop/”gangsta” emulators are wearing their trousers–hanging under what ought to be their private parts. Baggy pants, however, are explained and depicted below.
Here is a rap “song” I wrote last December 13th:

Wit my crotch at my knees

There’s no ball squeeze

Though my bad ass does freeze

And the ‘ho’s I want to please

Say I must have some fleas

I just cough and I wheeze

‘Cause my ass it does freeze

So, it’s cool, ya sees?

Wit my crotch at my knees

I’m the epitome of sleeze!

~~Copyright M-J de Mesterton December 13th, 2006
*Caggin’ is my husband’s French slang for sporting a “pantload”!

It’s Not the Bagginess of Hip-Hop Trousers that Offends, Butt…

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